In her new television campaign commercial, Republican senate nominee Christine O’Donnell claims that she’s me. So the cat’s out of the bag. Voters in Delaware now have proof that this ex-witch is really a 66-year-old Asian-American male who believes in evolution and masturbation because even chimps in zoos do it. What’s worse, Christine O’Donnel’s remaining relatives in China are all secretly planning to invade the United States of America. Christine O’Donnell is Fu Manchu! Who knew?
Category: OUT ON A LIMBy Paul1 Comment
I’m sorry, she’s actually seen a monkey evolve? Um, evolution is a process that takes millions of years and would involve observations of thousands of generations. I have an idea. We have law school admission tests, Bar exams, M-CATS, G-MATS, ACT, SAT… all these wonderful aptitude and placement tests. Before being allowed to run for office a person should be required to pass a similar test. From now on, if I have to flash my ID to vote, the people I’m voting for must have proven they are not obscene idiots whose parents paid for all their grades in college. They should be able to pronounce words like “nuclear” and they shouldn’t talk to people who aren’t there as if the people were actually responding and lending their expertise.
There was a comedian during the Bush administration who said it best, I think:
“George Bush says he talks to God everyday. Now, many American’s are fine with that notion. They support it and think it’s a good idea for the president to talk to God. Now, if George Bush had announced that he talks to God everyday on his hair-dryer, the reaction would be different. One wonders why the addition of the hair-dryer is required to make the man sound insane.”