In her new television campaign commercial, Republican senate nominee Christine O’Donnell claims that she’s me. So the cat’s out of the bag. Voters in Delaware now have proof that this ex-witch is really a 66-year-old Asian-American male who believes in evolution and masturbation because even chimps in zoos do it. What’s worse, Christine O’Donnel’s remaining relatives in China are all secretly planning to invade the United States of America. Christine O’Donnell is Fu Manchu! Who knew?