11 April 2018: Getting Groped at the Opera

April 12th, 2018

At a performance of Donizetti’s LUCIA DI LAMMERMOOR at the Metropolitsn Opera in New York last night, before the opera began and also during the first of three lengthy intermissions, an older woman sitting on my left, of great intelligence and girth, engaged me in a stimulating conversation about our favorite operas and singers. She surprised me at one point when she asked me my age. I said 74, and she said she’s 80. Anyway, after the first intermission, she seemed to fall asleep, and soon her enormous right hand fell on my left knee. Not only that, but every time she shifted her sizable frame, the hand in question began to inch up my thigh. What would you have done had you been sitting next to her? What do you think I did? If I post this strange encounter on Facebook, will Mark Zuckerberg sell her my name, address, phone number, and also all my vitals?

4 Responses to “11 April 2018: Getting Groped at the Opera”

  1. Laurieon 12 Apr 2018 at 4:04 pm

    Ha! Ha! You gave my first big laugh of the day. You’re a hoot!

  2. Cynthiaon 12 Apr 2018 at 5:09 pm

    I’d probably squeeze my knees together until her hand fell off my leg (hopefully to the OUTside!) then press her hand between my leg and the arm of the chair hoping it would wake her up…

    Dying to hear what you actually did, I’m sure it was much more clever 😉

  3. MJon 12 Apr 2018 at 6:46 pm

    I gather she was not pulling your leg. What would be the harm of placing her hand into her lap? If she is startled awake simply say her hand had dropped onto your leg. Or was she so very large that she had no lap. Where was her right hand?

  4. Paulon 12 Apr 2018 at 7:00 pm

    The upper recesses of my inner left thigh sheltered her wayward hand.

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