The cover story of The New York Times Magazine today is about Lindsay C. Young, a biologist who has been studying a colony of albatrosses in Hawaii. Young’s research reveals that, not only do albatrosses mate for life, but many of the “couples” she has been studying are, in fact, Sapphic females. Which leads me to suspect that the ancient mariner in Coleridge’s epic poem might have shot the albatross because she rejected his overtures for intimacy during the long voyage on that ship without women, perhaps preferring to flock together with a female companion of her own feather. It was a hate crime, pure and simple. The creepy old guy was homophobic.