Paul July 27th, 2010
News leaking out of BP indicates that wayward CEO Tony Hayward is stepping down in October, and will be assigned to a key post at TNK-BP in Russia, where he will presumably oversee all offshore drilling for oil in that part of the world. No one is saying it, but I have a deep suspicion that Hayward might be CIA’s new undercover agent to undermine the Russian economy and ruin its ecology. While over there, he will, of course, hook up with defrocked Russian spy Anna Chapman, and they’ll ooze out their lives happily ever after.
Tags: Anna Chapman, BP, TNK-BP, Tony Hayward
Paul July 2nd, 2010
According to The Washington Post, U.S. Marines are being warned to be wary of foreign beauties they might meet and mate while they are on shore leave in the Seychelles islands. Pictures of Anna Chapman, the ravishing redhead who has been arrested recently as a Russian spy, are being circulated among the 3,000 sex-starved marines who have now been at sea almost seven months, as someone who might show undue interest in them, waiting for them to reveal vital information “when the moment is right.” That’ll really get us screwed. Okay, enough said about Pussy Galore. What about the U.S. Marines who happen to be women? Or gay? Pictures of which foreign male beauties should they be shown? Soccer players from Brazil and the Netherlands? Or maybe Ghana and Uruguay? Wait, how about Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner? They’re not human, are they? Who knows what they’re hiding behind those smoldering eyes? Or when they’ll sink their fangs into all our sweet and innocent shipmates? Hmmmm. For my money, “Give me Bela Lugosi or give me death!” And my lips will be forever sealed.
Tags: Anna Chapman, Bela Lugosi, Pussy Galore, Robert Pattinson, Soccer, Taylor Lautner, U.S. Marines
