Paul August 19th, 2009
Although I’m calling this new website “a personal memoir in flux,” it is also my hope that the various sections will be of interest to people, whether they know me or not. “Out on a Lim” shares short observations on day-to-day life. “Limerances” chronicles longer remembrances of things past. “Limoscenes” presents descriptions of the plays I’ve written to date, with production photos. “Images in Limbo” shows pictures of the aging process, of me with family and friends. “Limpets” are the non-human dogs in my life, and “Limitations” are tributes to people who are no longer with us. So here I am, past imperfect, present progressive, future tense. Let me know what you think.
Paul April 4th, 2013
In order to make schools safer, the National Rifle Association wants all teachers and administrators to buy guns and undergo special training so they can be ready to stop the likelihood of Newtown ever happening again. But why stop with teachers and administrators? In the State of Kansas, for example, if you’re fourteen years old, you can get a learner’s permit to drive a car. So why not give our teenagers a learner’s permit to shoot firearms so they can protect themselves in case their teachers and administrators aren’t around? And, while we’re at it, why not give a learner’s permit to anyone who’s at least six years old? How many of those little kids at Newton died unnecessarily because they only played with fake guns when they could have had real ones? How many of them would be alive today if their mothers had packed some small hand guns in their lunch boxes, or maybe some tiny assault weapons in their gym bags? The NRA has the perfect solution: Let. No. Gun. Be. Left. Behind.
Paul December 3rd, 2012
The New York Times reports that, according to the Pew Research Center, U.S. birthrates in 2011 hit the lowest rate ever recorded, with just 63 births per 1000 women of childbearing age (the rate was 71 per 1000 in 1990). For the first time in recent memory, Americans are having fewer babies than the French or British. What are the reasons for this? Well, it’s possible that, thanks perhaps to Ayn Rand and “The Virtue of Selfishness,” sybaritic young Americans would rather splurge on themselves, and not on those proverbial “bundles of joy.” Or, it’s also possible that, with same-sex marriage being the in-thing among young people, they are all gayly cohabiting with mirror-images of themselves; and if they want children, why, they can always adopt from the expanding pool of unwanted babies resulting from rape or incest among pro-life forces on the religious right.
It puzzles me why Republicans are having such a problem with immigration reform. Most Hispanics are Roman Catholic who obey the Pope, who do not practice birth control, and who therefore continue to have more children than their white neighbors. It would be logical to assume that Latino kids would grow up thanking the Republicans that they were conceived and born, that they would all go on to vote Republican, and yet this has not happened. Turning against the Dream Act has turned out to be a nightmare for the GOP, resulting in the overwhelming Latino vote for Barack Obama last November.
I’m not sure which ethnic group is having more sex, but it’s the Latinos, the Blacks and the Asians who are having more babies, babies who will grow up to work and pay into the system that will keep social security secure for all the American generations yet to come. Dream on, People of Color, dream on. But, above all, continue to increase and multiply.
Paul November 29th, 2012
President Barack Obama has graciously invited Mitt Romney to have lunch privately with him today at the White House, and the press is not privy to what the two men will talk about, nor even to what they will ingest and digest. Now, more than ever, we need a secret video of the event. Are the wives included? Can a BIG LOVE lunch be complete without the wives? We also need to know if, in this instance, given Romney’s religion, whether places have been set at table for all of the Republican Mormon’s baptized ancestors. More importantly, will Top Dog Bo dare to be anywhere near Mitt to beg for table scraps? As for refreshments, will the beer-drinking Obama abstain from alcoholic beverages in deference to his teetotal, Tea Party-leaning guest, or will the President indulge in a celebratory cocktail or two? If so, what will Barry imbibe? Take your pick—whiskey sour, vodka stinger, Blue Angel, Red Devil, Swiss Fizz, Cayman Island Cooler—all made with liquors which are at least 47% proof, of course. And afterwards, will caffeine be served with dessert? And will the President light up one last stick of nicotine before the two men say their goodbyes?
Beau geste has never been so beau, nor so difficult politically.
Paul November 4th, 2012
According to an interview which appeared in today’s Sunday New York Times, Paul Ryan says that, if he and Mitt Romney are elected on November 6th, he plans to be another Dick Cheney. This should be reason enough for George W. Bush to vote secretly for Barack Obama and Joe Biden on Tuesday.
Paul August 30th, 2012
While most people know that the “W” in George W. Bush is for “Walker,” it is not as well known that the “W” in W. Mitt Romney is for “Willard.” By some weird coincidence, there are two movies available which are called “Walker,” and another two which are called “Willard.” I’ve seen all of them.
The first “Walker” (1987) is an absorbing drama in which Ed Harris plays the 19th-century American mercenary leader who became the President of Nicaragua, and the second “Walker” is a television series (1993-2001) in which Chuck Norris is a martial artist who battles crime all over Texas.
The first “Willard” (1971) gives us Bruce Davison as the eponymous loner, an awkward misfit who befriends two rats whom he names Ben and Socrates. When Socrates is killed by Willard’s employer, a man who stole the business years ago from Willard’s father, Willard goes on a rampage by summoning an army of rats to do his bidding. The movie was so successful, it was remade in 2003 with Crispin Glover as the creepy Willard.
So, what it comes down to is this. Which Dubya would you rather have a beer with, Walker or Willard?
George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are conspicuously absent at the Republican Convention in Tampa; in their place, we are being shown the awkward Willard Mitt Romney in the bromance of his life with the Socratic Paul Ryan loyally by his side. But, for how much longer? When the going gets tough, do Republicans go shopping? Or, like rats, will they turn on one another? Wait, didn’t we already see this movie during the Republican primaries? Will it be remade and released in time for the November elections?
Paul August 27th, 2012
In the Old Testament, when Abraham was already a hundred years old and his wife Sarah was also way past her childbearing years, God granted them their most fervent wish, a son who would be a comfort to them in their old age. They named him Isaac, the same Isaac whom God would later command Abraham to sacrifice on an altar as proof of his faith. When Abraham obediently raised his knife to slaughter the helpless child, God needed no further proof of Abraham’s faith, and the boy was spared. The Bible tells us Isaac himself lived to the ripe old age of 180, making him the oldest patriarch in the Old Testament.
And now, more than two thousand years later, Isaac lives on in other ways. Today, the good news from meteorologists is that HURRICANE ISAAC will spare Tampa, Florida, thus saving the Republican Convention. All the festivities being planned this week by the Grand Old Party for its millionaires and billionaires will proceed smoothly, without any further threat of hell or high water. Lynyrd Skynyrd and The Oak Ridge Boys can serenade all the elephantine high-rollers as scheduled, with impunity.
So, how did all this come about? This time around, what sort of sacrifice did the God of the Evangelical Right demand from faithful devotees like Mike Huckabee, Rick Santorum, and Paul Ryan? What were these God-fearing Republicans willing to sacrifice to get their political pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? Assuming, of course, that the Republican rainbow has nothing to do with people of color or, worse, those abominable homosexuals who want to marry each other in the name of love.
As for anyone living these days to the ripe old age of 180, you might as well forget it, not without Medicare and Medicaid, not if Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan get their way.
Paul August 15th, 2012
Hollywood insiders are gushing over the news that Nicole Kidman urinates on Zac Efron in THE PAPERBOY, a movie due out in October, but which won’t be available for streaming until much later.
Poor Zac. What effrontery. For the ex-HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL star’s sake, I hope the baptism is accompanied by a good sprinkling of songs, perhaps a gleeful mash-up of “Mellow Yellow” by Donovan, “Rhythm of the Rain” by the Cascades, “Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head” by B.J. Thomas, “Don’t Rain On My Parade” by Barbra Streisand, “Rainy Day Women” by Bob Dylan, “Red River Valley” by Marty Robbins, “River of No Return” by Marilyn Monroe, “Golden Slumbers” by The Beatles, and anything by Muddy Waters or Pee Wee King.
Paul August 12th, 2012
The list of British entertainers who will be featured in the closing ceremonies of the Olympic Games in London tonight is very long indeed—featuring, among others, The Spice Girls, The Who, The Pet Shop Boys, Annie Lenox, George Michael, Muse, Ed Sheeran, Fatboy Slim, Tinie Tempah, Jessie J, Emeli Sande, the Kaiser Chiefs, Paul McCartney (again), Ray Davies of The Kinks, surviving members of Queen. Speaking of which….
Where’s Elton John? He was conspicuously absent in the opening ceremonies two weekends ago, and he’s conspicuously absent now in the closing ceremonies. Might it be possible that the very high-profile Sir John is still too closely identified with the tragic Princess Diana? Did the mean Queen agree to be a Bond Girl only if What’s-His-Name is made a Non-Person at The Games? If so, then the Olympic Torch has been reduced to nothing more than just a candle in the wind.
Paul August 11th, 2012
So, it’s Romney and Ryan, the Republican Dream Team for November. Going into the campaign, what will the R-R combo remind you of? The Rolls-Royce of billionaires? The Retro-Repo Men? The Rail-Roading of America?
Paul August 9th, 2012
What happens to Ann Romney’s dancing horse Rafalca now that the poor beast has flunked out of the Olympic dressage competitions in London? Given all the negative publicity about this poor rich mare (surely a nightmare for Mitt’s handlers), will the Romneys continue to take Rafalca’s $77,000-a-year upkeep off their tax deductions? Or will they put her out to pasture somewhere in Massachusetts where she might possibly qualify for Romneycare? Or will they sell her off to manufacturers of puppy chow and hope the newshounds never find out? What do the neigh-sayers say?