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Listen to Paul’s interview.

“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players… One man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages. At first the infant, mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms.  And then the whining school-boy… the lover,  sighing… a soldier, full of strange oaths… the justice, in fair round belly… The sixth age shifts into… the pantaloon, with spectacles on nose and pouch on side… Last scene of all, that ends this strange eventful history, is second childishness and mere oblivion: sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.” 

— Shakespeare

Welcome

Although I’m calling this website “a personal memoir in flux,” it is also my hope that the various sections will be of interest to people, whether they know me or not. “Out on a Lim” shares short observations on day-to-day life. “Limerances” chronicles longer remembrances of things past. “Limoscenes” presents descriptions of the plays I’ve written to date, with production photos. “Images in Limbo” shows pictures of the aging process, of me with family and friends. “Limpets” are the non-human dogs in my life, and “Limitations” are tributes to people who are no longer with us. So here I am, past imperfect, present progressive, future tense. Let me know what you think. — Paul

29 November 2012: White House Hosts BIG LOVE Lunch

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President Barack Obama has graciously invited Mitt Romney to have lunch privately with him today at the White House, and the press is not privy to what the two men will talk about, nor even to what they will ingest and digest.  Now, more than ever, we need a secret video of the event.  Are the wives included?  Can a BIG LOVE lunch be complete without the wives?  We also need to know if, in this instance, given Romney’s religion, whether places have been set at table for all of the Republican Mormon’s baptized ancestors.  More importantly, will Top Dog Bo dare to be anywhere near Mitt to beg for table scraps?  As for refreshments, will the beer-drinking Obama abstain from alcoholic beverages in deference to his teetotal, Tea Party-leaning guest, or will the President indulge in a celebratory cocktail or two?  If so, what will Barry imbibe?  Take your pick—whiskey sour, vodka stinger, Blue Angel, Red Devil, Swiss Fizz, Cayman Island Cooler—all made with liquors which are at least 47% proof, of course.  And afterwards, will caffeine be served with dessert?  And will the President light up one last stick of nicotine before the two men say their goodbyes?

Beau geste has never been so beau, nor so difficult politically.

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30 August 2012: Having a Beer with Two Dubyas

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While most people know that the “W” in George W. Bush is for “Walker,” it is not as well known that the “W” in W. Mitt Romney is for “Willard.”  By some weird coincidence, there are two movies available which are called “Walker,” and another two which are called “Willard.”  I’ve seen all of them.

The first “Walker” (1987) is an absorbing drama in which Ed Harris plays the 19th-century American mercenary leader who became the President of Nicaragua, and the second “Walker” is a television series (1993-2001) in which Chuck Norris is a martial artist who battles crime all over Texas.

The first “Willard” (1971) gives us Bruce Davison as the eponymous loner, an awkward misfit who befriends two rats whom he names Ben and Socrates.  When Socrates is killed by Willard’s employer, a man who stole the business years ago from Willard’s father, Willard goes on a rampage by summoning an army of rats to do his bidding.  The movie was so successful, it was remade in 2003 with Crispin Glover as the creepy Willard.

So, what it comes down to is this.  Which Dubya would you rather have a beer with, Walker or Willard?

George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are conspicuously absent at the Republican Convention in Tampa; in their place, we are being shown the awkward Willard Mitt Romney in the bromance of his life with the Socratic Paul Ryan loyally by his side.  But, for how much longer?  When the going gets tough, do Republicans go shopping?  Or, like rats, will they turn on one another?  Wait, didn’t we already see this movie during the Republican primaries?  Will it be remade and released in time for the November elections?

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27 August 2012: Tampering with Isaac in Tampa

OUT ON A LIM

In the Old Testament, when Abraham was already a hundred years old and his wife Sarah was also way past her childbearing years, God granted them their most fervent wish, a son who would be a comfort to them in their old age.  They named him Isaac, the same Isaac whom God would later command Abraham to sacrifice on an altar as proof of his faith.  When Abraham obediently raised his knife to slaughter the helpless child, God needed no further proof of Abraham’s faith, and the boy was spared.  The Bible tells us Isaac himself lived to the ripe old age of 180, making him the oldest patriarch in the Old Testament.

And now, more than two thousand years later, Isaac lives on in other ways.  Today, the good news from meteorologists is that HURRICANE ISAAC will spare Tampa, Florida, thus saving the Republican Convention. All the festivities being planned this week by the Grand Old Party for its millionaires and billionaires will proceed smoothly, without any further threat of hell or high water. Lynyrd Skynyrd and The Oak Ridge Boys can serenade all the elephantine high-rollers as scheduled, with impunity.

So, how did all this come about?  This time around, what sort of sacrifice did the God of the Evangelical Right demand from faithful devotees like Mike Huckabee, Rick Santorum, and Paul Ryan?  What were these God-fearing Republicans willing to sacrifice to get their political pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?  Assuming, of course, that the Republican rainbow has nothing to do with people of color or, worse, those abominable homosexuals who want to marry each other in the name of love.

As for anyone living these days to the ripe old age of 180, you might as well forget it, not without Medicare and Medicaid, not if Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan get their way.

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15 August 2012: Zac Efron Gets Baptized by Nicole Kidman

OUT ON A LIM

Hollywood insiders are gushing over the news that Nicole Kidman urinates on Zac Efron in THE PAPERBOY, a movie due out in October, but which won’t be available for streaming until much later.

Poor Zac.  What effrontery.  For the ex-HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL star’s sake, I hope the baptism is accompanied by a good sprinkling of songs, perhaps a gleeful mash-up of “Mellow Yellow” by Donovan, “Rhythm of the Rain” by the Cascades, “Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head” by B.J. Thomas, “Don’t Rain On My Parade” by Barbra Streisand, “Rainy Day Women” by Bob Dylan, “Red River Valley” by Marty Robbins, “River of No Return” by Marilyn Monroe, “Golden Slumbers” by The Beatles, and anything by Muddy Waters or Pee Wee King.

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12 August 2012: Where’s Elton John?

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The list of British entertainers who will be featured in the closing ceremonies of the Olympic Games in London tonight is very long indeed—featuring, among others, The Spice Girls, The Who, The Pet Shop Boys, Annie Lenox, George Michael, Muse, Ed Sheeran, Fatboy Slim, Tinie Tempah, Jessie J, Emeli Sande, the Kaiser Chiefs, Paul McCartney (again), Ray Davies of The Kinks, surviving members of Queen.  Speaking of which….

Where’s Elton John?  He was conspicuously absent in the opening ceremonies two weekends ago, and he’s conspicuously absent now in the closing ceremonies.  Might it be possible that the very high-profile Sir John is still too closely identified with the tragic Princess Diana? Did the mean Queen agree to be a Bond Girl only if What’s-His-Name is made a Non-Person at The Games?  If so, then the Olympic Torch has been reduced to nothing more than just a candle in the wind.

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9 August 2012: Is Romney’s Horse Puppy Chow?

OUT ON A LIM

What happens to Ann Romney’s dancing horse Rafalca now that the poor beast has flunked out of the Olympic dressage competitions in London?  Given all the negative publicity about this poor rich mare (surely a nightmare for Mitt’s handlers), will the Romneys continue to take Rafalca’s $77,000-a-year upkeep off their tax deductions?  Or will they put her out to pasture somewhere in Massachusetts where she might possibly qualify for Romneycare?  Or will they sell her off to manufacturers of puppy chow and hope the newshounds never find out?  What do the neigh-sayers say?

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5 August 2012: Clint Eastwood Makes Mitt’s Day!

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Clint Eastwood’s endorsement of Mitt Romney in Idaho last Friday did not really surprise me.  The endorsement probably made Mitt’s day, but whether this will have any SUDDEN IMPACT on the electorate, or raise A FEW DOLLARS MORE for the billionaire’s presidential campaign, remains to be seen.

Actually, I have a confession to make.  I have NEVER liked any of Clint Eastwood’s movies (neither the ones he’s appeared in, nor the ones he’s directed), so now in my book he joins the ranks of two other Hollywood gun-toting Republican icons, John Wayne and Charlton Heston, all of whose movies I can not bear to watch either.

If Barack Obama wins the presidential election this November, Clint Eastwood might have to remake some of his movies—“Million Dollar Baby,” “Play Misty for Me,” “True Crime,” etc.  And he’ll have to rename some others if he chooses to remake them as well—“Every Which Way But Lose,” “White House Black Heart,” “Magnum Farce,” “Dirty Barry,” etc.

Can Democrats with elephantine memories ever forgive Clint for choosing Mitt over Barack? Or will he now be banished to the Hollywood equivalent of ALCATRAZ, to remain forever among the UNFORGIVEN?

 

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29 June 2012: Jayhawk Pound Puppies

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The Lawrence Journal-World reports that former Kansas University forward Thomas Robinson “fought off the tears” when he learned that the Sacramento Kings had made him their choice in the first round of this year’s NBA draft.  “I made it,” Robinson was quoted as saying, exhaling between sentences. “I mean, I made it…”

Meanwhile, we are told, “it came as a relief” for ex-Jayhawk Tyshawn Taylor when he was finally taken with the 41st pick by the Portland Trail Blazers, who traded his rights to the Brooklyn Nets. “I was just staying ready, being alert, and just being happy, looking forward to the opportunity,” Taylor was quoted as saying. “I knew that any team that was going to take me was going to want to play me right away.”

While reading all this, suddenly, in the background, I hear Roberta Flack singing, “The First Time, Ever I Saw Your Face…”  And then the song fades to another one by Sarah McLachlan, who looks at me mournfully and says, “Every ten seconds in America, an animal is beaten or abused…”

 

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